What is true contentment? (Part 2)

Now I will be honest with you, I have experienced more of this world than most people who know me would believe and I am an excellent people watcher and I have watched many friends go through enough experiences to know they are not worth my curiosity to attempt. All these things that media and my peers and the world tells me will make me happy do so very briefly and I don't know about you but I'm not someone who has all the cash in the world to keep throwing it at things that make me fleetingly happy repeatedly.

When I examined my life and looked at the things that gave me joy and contentment, they were often very personal. They were things that were between me and myself, things I probably never said out loud but they still make my heart warm to think of them.- Toiling in the garden until my fingers get dirty and my back hurts, often when my parents expect me to be studying and doing it well enough that they agreed I did a good job despite failing my exam (the exam and gardening were unrelated...I failed due to other reasons); my terrible attempts at cooking and the few victorious moments that won people over to eating my food again; moments I spent alone with friends where we shared secrets, cried despite tough facades; moments that caught me by surprise and unexpected acts of courage. kindness and integrity I witnessed in those around me; strangers who helped  my 4'10'' self get my carry on baggage off the flights overhead compartment; quiet morning masses in unadorned chapels; writing even though I still sneak around to do it.

In fact so many of the strongest things that make me feel joy and contentment to think about were risen out of toil and struggle and failures and weaknesses. Seems odd doesn't it? Seems like those are the moments that left lasting impressions and it was the people who helped me through those tough times or myself making it through difficult things that make me the happiest to think about. Funny how that is so counter to the world that tells us we need to immediate pleasure and satisfaction to be content because I have found the opposite to be true.

For me true contentment was born out of misery, sadness, struggles, hard work etc. When I somehow found it within myself or was helped by others to get through those things, I found a kind of joy that stuck with me. The kind that I still remember without having to go through it all again, the kind where I didn't have to spend any money really, the kind where to this day when I go through a struggle, I can look back at those times and  feel at peace that I can do this, the kind that gives me the strength to keep going.