Tough Truths
My family's personal view on love is the "I love you so much, I'll kill you if you leave me" kind, which can be a little intimidating. Literally, my mom makes threats to throw my brothers phone out the window if he doesn't respond to her questions and keeps texting (she lacks patience just a smidgeon).
The thing I appreciate about my family though is that they love you so much, they really want you to do well in the world. And not in the 'I want to protect you from the world's sorrow forever!' but 'Toughen up so tomorrow you won't go emo when your crush dates someone else'--tough love, in short. Also, I'm not trying to stereotype but my brother tells me a lot of kids self harm, in like high school (as do non-emo peeps, its probably a bad stereotype situation, right?)! I understand if you're from a troubled home, but if not, don't act all depressed when you are not and when there are people in the world who are fighting to survive a day and protect their family from rapists and murderers....I'm sorry to be your mother but really, you've got to not be trivial, life goes on without the latest Apple products...really, it does.
My family's tough love situation borders on brutal honesty though, which can be a little tiring on those days when you just want people to be nice for like a minute. I didn't realize it at first, but I found out that other people are not like this, and it shocked me. My parents always taught me that if you love someone, you tell them the truth, for things that matter at least (bad fashion choices are a right of passage and everyone gets past it, so relax fashionistas that wanna go around making people feel like burnt toast cuz' they just wanted to wear some sweats cuz' they feel a little bloated today!). But for other real life situations and decisions that will impact a person's life, we were taught that if you cared about someone, you would tell them.
This factoid stayed true most of my life until I moved to the US and was met with a mass of grinning people that told people things were great when they weren't and then talked behind their backs! I'm not saying that I told people to their face if they sucked, I would pick one thing I liked and tell them that, or if it was really bad, I would avoid that person so I wouldn't have to lie (avoidance: a mature tactic, maybe). I suddenly realized, I couldn't trust most people on the reviews they gave me for things I did either since how would I know if they were lying? Also without some honest feedback, how can you know the things you need to improve on? I must say, I still trust my mom's review over anyone else's because I know she doesn't play favorites and tells me things as they are.
I guess I was just thinking about all this the other day and honestly, I really do tell people when I ask for opinions, to be honest with me. Even if a negative critique stings a little, at least now you know what to work on to be better at whatever you are trying. Isn't there like an old saying that goes, ' If it stings, it works'? Probably way out of context though.
What about you, do you prefer people play nice or do would you rather hear the truth, even if it stings a little?
The thing I appreciate about my family though is that they love you so much, they really want you to do well in the world. And not in the 'I want to protect you from the world's sorrow forever!' but 'Toughen up so tomorrow you won't go emo when your crush dates someone else'--tough love, in short. Also, I'm not trying to stereotype but my brother tells me a lot of kids self harm, in like high school (as do non-emo peeps, its probably a bad stereotype situation, right?)! I understand if you're from a troubled home, but if not, don't act all depressed when you are not and when there are people in the world who are fighting to survive a day and protect their family from rapists and murderers....I'm sorry to be your mother but really, you've got to not be trivial, life goes on without the latest Apple products...really, it does.
My family's tough love situation borders on brutal honesty though, which can be a little tiring on those days when you just want people to be nice for like a minute. I didn't realize it at first, but I found out that other people are not like this, and it shocked me. My parents always taught me that if you love someone, you tell them the truth, for things that matter at least (bad fashion choices are a right of passage and everyone gets past it, so relax fashionistas that wanna go around making people feel like burnt toast cuz' they just wanted to wear some sweats cuz' they feel a little bloated today!). But for other real life situations and decisions that will impact a person's life, we were taught that if you cared about someone, you would tell them.
This factoid stayed true most of my life until I moved to the US and was met with a mass of grinning people that told people things were great when they weren't and then talked behind their backs! I'm not saying that I told people to their face if they sucked, I would pick one thing I liked and tell them that, or if it was really bad, I would avoid that person so I wouldn't have to lie (avoidance: a mature tactic, maybe). I suddenly realized, I couldn't trust most people on the reviews they gave me for things I did either since how would I know if they were lying? Also without some honest feedback, how can you know the things you need to improve on? I must say, I still trust my mom's review over anyone else's because I know she doesn't play favorites and tells me things as they are.
I guess I was just thinking about all this the other day and honestly, I really do tell people when I ask for opinions, to be honest with me. Even if a negative critique stings a little, at least now you know what to work on to be better at whatever you are trying. Isn't there like an old saying that goes, ' If it stings, it works'? Probably way out of context though.
What about you, do you prefer people play nice or do would you rather hear the truth, even if it stings a little?
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