An Ode to my Obstinate Brain

I don't wear boredom well

Not by a longshot.

Can’t keep myself from succumbing to naughty ideas

When I can’t keep my mind busy.

Such a weird trait, is it not?

I desire the ability to not do anything

And yet when it is granted to me,

I beg for something to do;

I beg on my knees for something to occupy my mind with so

I will not demean myself into doing things that will ruin me later.

My mind has always had a leaning towards racing faster

Than I can grab a notepad to write down one of the 5 ideas it zipped past me with.

It always seems so active, so creative, bursting with thought when I need to be focusing on

One task.

And I must shamefully succumb to them

For I fear if I ignore them, I will forget them forever.

Multi tasking is a trait I cannot imbue either

It would ruin my peace of mind!

With my mind already racing with ideas for 3 other activities

While I sit down to simply read a book

And then bothering me until I try to do a little of all of them

Just to give myself solace;

Could you imagine what it would do if I actually listened to it?!

My dear God, why have you made me so?

My brain fighting a war with itself!

You, dirty, insolent limbic system

With your never ending ideas on what would make me happy,

Make me wild with delight or simply ‘make my skirt fly up’;

Why do you tease me so?

Tempt me, feigning love that you will exchange for guilt once I have

Stood party to your whimsy.

You who tell my friends to fall in love, to derive cheap thrills from dangerous rides,

You are responsible for the flutter, the rush, the pleasure of crushes and love,

The blinding fury with which we see justice in destruction,

Our innate naughty, selfish self is your handiwork!

And the poor heart that simply does its job in keeping life going,

Gets blamed for your actions.

You seek nothing but immediate gratification,

Why can’t you think ahead to heartbreak and broken bones and death?

Mr. Cortex, you simply must take control.

Why do you stand so idly back while your sibling destroys what tranquility I have left!

Why do you not exert more control when you know better?

You can weigh options and make the logical one,

You know that focus on one activity will give better results than trying to focus on many,

And more importantly, you know how bad I need to focus so I can study and pass this test!

Please find a better way to assert the upper hand, I beg you,

Find some way to keep me sane in the midst of all the insanity your brother throws at me.

No? You’re just going to give me the silent treatment and then slap me afterward with the realization

That I should not have tried to jump from the window ledge to the rose garden below it?

Thank you for your kindness and presence of mind when it’s absolutely necessary.

Really, thanks guys for never listening to me and then making me feel stupid afterward.

What’s that, Mr. Limbic system? I’m going to be ok anyway? Its just a few scratches, not like I could get an infection and die? Well that’s comforting, I think.

Wait a minute, isn’t there a specific infection you can get from rose bush scratches? Guys? Guys? Can someone help calm me down here? Oh my gosh, medical website with preposterous symptom-disease diagnosis, lay off it!

Guys? Going to give me a blank brain, huh? OK, I’ll just try to watch a movie and stop thinking about it then.......

Oh that brownie ad looks sooo good! I’m going to drive 30 min out of my way to that place to spent a ridiculous amount on a box of brownies that I will never finish and could have probably made at home. Yep, that sounds terrific!

Oh Mr. Cortex, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll inform my belly to prepare for starvation and stock up on all the incoming carbs and get me back on this. You’ve never failed me there!

6/8/12